March 29, 2017

Her Win Isn’t My Loss

I was in the 6th grade and on the basketball team at the Boys and Girls club.  It was the 4th quarter- a tied game! My teammate passed me the ball and I was determined to make a lay up- I used my left hand to guard “my man” just like my coach had taught me and with the other I held a steady dribble. I thought: Jannelle if you can keep this up, you can make it to the net and SCORE!  I took two steps and threw it up and… it didn’t go in the basket. Actually someone much taller than I caught the rebound and made the shot. The team and crowd cheered and shouted! My team won, however, I felt as though I lost.

I wish I could say this basketball game was the last time I felt as though I had a loss in the midst of “my team” winning- actually I’ve felt this several times since then- one time being when a friend of mine got engaged while I was going through a break up. While I was so excited for her, I couldn’t help but feel my small loss turn into a major loss. Or like when I was in college- my bff got an A on an exam I got a C in and yes- I studied. My C became a D in my eyes.

I’m sure we can both agree that we’ve had moments where we felt her win, was our loss but this is not the truth.

There’s a story that encourages me so greatly when it comes to this topic we’re on. Its the story of two people who wanted to win. Who needed to win. However, in the midst of one winning- the other felt as though he lost. Read with me (I know it’s long but trust me it is good)!

After Jesus crossed over by boat, a large crowd met him at the seaside. One of the meeting-place leaders named Jairus came. When he saw Jesus, he fell to his knees, beside himself as he begged, “My dear daughter is at death’s door. Come and lay hands on her so she will get well and live.” Jesus went with him, the whole crowd tagging along, pushing and jostling him.

Meanwhile, A woman who had suffered a condition of hemorrhaging for twelve years had heard about Jesus. She slipped in from behind and touched his robe. She was thinking to herself, “If I can put a finger on his robe, I can get well.” The moment she did it, the flow of blood dried up. She could feel the change and knew her plague was over and done with. . . .Jesus said to her, “Daughter, you took a risk of faith, and now you’re healed and whole. Live well, live blessed! Be healed of your plague.”

Mark 5:21-34

I can only imagine the emotions and tension that was hovering around that group of people. Here we have Jairus begging Jesus to heal his not only sick- but dying daughter. Dealing with a crisis, I assume that this man had a small group of friends and family with him for support. Jesus agree’s to help this man and heal his daughter. Out of no where, a woman with a serious sickness reaches to Jesus wholeness. I can see Jairus’ thoughts now as he is clinching his jaw: Jesus,This is not time to stop. This is not about this woman. No this is my time- my daughter’s time to live. To win!

Have you ever felt as though you were losing in midst of others winning in life? Maybe you felt as though you were behind, stuck, or at a low place while a peer or friend leaped forward into a promotion, life event, or ministry opportunity.  I know its not an easy question to ask yourself- but hey this is a blog and you’re probably reading it to yourself so its safe to say you can answer quietly and honestly in your head.

His heart racing, looking at this lady on the floor who has been healed just by a touch, meanwhile his daughter is on her death bed. His mind was probably wondering if Jesus really knew how sick his own daughter was. Jairus unable to celebrate with this strange lady- how could he celebrate her healing, her win- when he was still losing.

In moments like this when we feel our loss sting while we watch others win, it is normal to experience emotions and wonder if God sees our brokeness or if he is  fully aware of our need. God knows we are human and he knows we have real emotions.

While he was still talking, some people came from the leader’s house and told him, “Your daughter is dead. Why bother the Teacher any more?”

Jesus overheard what they were talking about and said to the leader, “Don’t listen to them; just trust me.”

Mark 5:35-36

I love how Jesus responds to the tension of the air and to the reminders of Jairus’ loss. He simply says (in my own words), Jairus forget them fools- I got you!

…He took the child’s father and mother, along with his companions, and entered the child’s room. He clasped the girl’s hand and said, “Talitha cumi,” which means, “Little girl, I say to you, Arise.” At that, she was up and walking around! This girl was twelve years of age. They, of course, were all beside themselves with joy.

Mark 5:40-42

Jesus most likely gave Jairus a look that said: you see – I always win! 

Maybe your dream, marriage, or season of life is at a place where it appears as though you are losing. Others are moving forward, experiencing new things, finding healing and yet your not. Maybe their win makes your loss feel worse on the inside- and don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.

In this story we find the hope in knowing these things:

  1. God is aware of what I believe is a loss in my life. He is fully aware of where I am in life and it does not leave his mind.
  2. God’s timing and my timing aren’t the same. God knows me inside and out. He knows what I can handle and what is too much. He wants a real relationship with me and he’ll do whatever it takes to build trust with me- even if it means making me wait a little longer.
  3. Christ always wins. This is my favorite truth. If I trust Him- he will turn my loss around and I too will win.

Pray this prayer with me:

Jesus, thank you for knowing where I am and meeting me right there. In moments I feel as though I am losing in the midst of others winning, please remind me that I am not. Remind me that you have a plan for my life greater than my fears and doubt. 



  1. Kimberly Santiago says:

    Wow Jannelle! This right here…I have no words. Even though I don’t feel a negative type of way for those around me who are winning, the reminder that during this time of feeling at loss — he is still with me. That reminder that we need to trust in him to handle what ever situation; but the key word here is that we NEED to trust HIM. We will always win. May not be done when we want it, but it will happen. Thank you.

  2. Jaleen Leon says:

    This is so encouraging ???? Literally in tears as I read it on break . Thank You for being so open and most importantly sticking to your vision with #She’sNotSorry !!! Proud friend moment , love you !!

    • Jannelle says:


      So happy this touched you!! Yes girl! Sticking to the Vision and the plan <3

      Thanks for all your love and support <3

  3. sparkymarc30 says:

    Wow!! I really needed this today. I often look at others and wish that I could have their wins too. But this is a good reminder not to compare myself with others. Stay blessed!!

  4. You better preach!!! Your writing is such a blessing. Thanking for being vulnerable and sharing your heart. Love ya!!

    • Jannelle says:


      Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts! Vulnerability is never easy but it sure is worth it. <3


  5. Dolores ojeda says:

    Love you niece. Beautiful words. Let’s trust in him with all of our hearts even when we see other winning! Titi Dolores

    • Jannelle says:

      Aunt Dolores <3

      Thanks for your support and taking time to share your thoughts!!

      Hope you are enjoying this Blog ! <3

  6. Stephanie says:

    Thank you for being used by the lord. I’ve felt the emotions you’ve described and reading “Christ always wins”, reassures me of the season I am going through.God bless you.

  7. Tina Vulto says:

    This blog right here ….. It’s a win!

  8. ❤️❤️

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