April 29, 2016

Laura Roddenberry: Why I’ve Never Been Single

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My left ring finger remains blank, unbound, unmarked.

My dating history is relatively small, littered with a couple messy past attempts at relational romance and little treasures of lessons learned. But am I single? Have I ever truly been single? No.  I haven’t.  And am not still.  I have come close, but have not succeeded in being single.  I am married to my ideas of romance. They are multiple.  They are complicated…multifaceted, divided, doubled, and two-sided. If perhaps I spent more time and anguish over what a single-minded individual can accomplish than the wrestling and tears spent over not having a romance of my own, then I would be more prepared for the ever-exciting “one can put a thousand to flight and two, ten-thousand to flight.”

Single-mindedness; an awareness of one goal; an all-encompassed mass of energy used for a specific purpose. So often, my mind is made up of many ideas—ideas like little rooms down the never-ending Hall of Dreams. Each room has its own furnishings, laid out so perfect, so welcoming. And I spend time in each of these rooms.  I live in one and then move on to another one.  Never single; always scattered, always searching.  I am talented, I will say, for my dreams are so powerful, and sometimes so right. And I am their author. And they are epic. People should be envious of my dreams…except that people cannot see them…because they exist in my mind. I may look single, but I am taken—taken up with myself…and my ideas.

I may look like I’m waiting for the right one, but on the inside I am dreaming him up…and not “him” necessarily, for each room holds a different idea of “the one.” Why do I like it? Why do I divide my mind into so many places? Why do I make each room so comfortable?

Perhaps…perhaps it is because at times I have ignored the convicting call from the greatest of all rooms: The Throne Room, the room where it is impossible to be anything BUT single-minded, the room where my epic creations called dreams look weak under the reality of the truth and the true Creator. There, a Savior, a King, a Lover, a Holy Commander and Cherished Brother sits on His throne—not only sitting, but interceding, not only sitting, but welcoming, not only sitting, but longing…for me.  There, I can bring the issues of every room into the One Room.  It does not make me divided, double-minded, or overly complex. It makes me central to one location, centered on One Man…and HIS ideas. There, I can bring the contents of my mind, my rooms—all of them, and spill them out—yes even the dreams—even in detail.  They can all be spilled out, opened up, revealed.  It is there I find that I am not comfortable in them. It is there in His presence that they lose their power to divide me. My single thoughts dwell on Him.

How often I have given up this singleness to leave the Room and search for what will make me “complete,” to dream about the other half of my “two putting ten-thousand to flight.” But have I even accomplished the “one that puts a thousand to flight?” Have I been that single?  No. No, I don’t think I have ever been single—moments of it maybe, but not surrendered to its season.  Singleness is a gift too often ignored until it has passed.  Sound a bit harsh?  Maybe, maybe it is. But I will say this, I will make this my anthem: I’d rather take the time, however long, to grow in singlehood and be gifted a romance by the greatest Author of all, than to be a weak, double-minded individual who becomes further divided when joined in relationship of romance for the sake of not being alone.

 


Screen Shot 2016-04-28 at 9.30.23 PMLaura Roddenberry currently serves as the Assistant Director of Lead Institute Florida. She has a Bachelor’s degree in Church Leadership from Lee University.  Before serving as the Assistant Director, she served as the R.A. of the girls’ dorm as well as the Academic Coordinator. Laura is a gifted writer of music, short stories, novels, plays, and has written many of Lead’s program materials, dramas, and the last five scripts for Florida Church of God Youth Camp.

Laura has an amazing vlog/blog entitled, “My Very Public Single Life.”  Be sure to subscribe to her blog/vlog to experience this journey in such an eye opening way: www.lauraroddenberry.com

Comments

  1. And she’s still a brilliant writer! <3

  2. Terri Wilson says:

    Such a powerful, raw and honest insight into ones self.

  3. Love it! Love her! She’s amazing and deserves every bit of happiness in her new chapter!:)

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