March 22, 2017

S H E T R I B E

It was 5:05 am, sweats were on, breakfast was on its way and I’m convinced there were still a few hidden bobby pins in my hair that weren’t invited out.

Three girlfriends and I called each other up the night before and convinced ourselves it would be a good idea to have breakfast together before we went to work, before their husbands needed food, and before their kids got on the bus. On a cold early morning we sat in a diner  and laughed at ourselves  the way we reacted to situation that was none of our business (yes you aren’t the only one- put petty betty away), the outfit we wore to work knowing it was wrinkled (when you’re running late nothing looks too wrinkled) , and at how one of their kids responded the same-exact way we would respond to sassy comment (not saying its right, just saying it was funny).

After the OJ was finished and the laughs ended we began to share some very personal areas in life we were struggling in. Not only did we share personal opinions, but we shared real thoughts, real emotions, real failures, real shame, and real truths. This time it was my turn to share my heart. Let’s just say my mouth wasn’t lining up with my intentions or rather my choice of words have not been the best as of lately (strengths-based perspective way of saying : I’ve had a bad attitude and was in a funky place). They looked at me with eyes that whispered, “girl, I could’ve told you that.” They were honest about what they’ve seen in me and encouraged me, stating how my thinking was distorted at the time, and they reminded me of how I needed to replace my thoughts with truth- which would then produce a different reaction and perspective.

I remember leaving the diner that morning feeling so empowered, so encouraged, and so motivated to see things through a different lens. I felt heard by these women, and loved enough to be redirected to truth. And I began to think: man, every woman deserves to have a group of gals they can not only laugh with, but be completely real with. Every woman needs a SheTribe, meaning : other women in your life that you actually consider friends. Because, guess what: bffs are not a childhood thing. It’s a lifetime thing whether you’re married, divorced, career driven, single, a soccer mom, a ministry director, a community leader, or anything in between.

Too often, we as women are normalizing our loneliness and weariness because somewhere on this journey of life, we’ve been convinced that true-honest friendship doesn’t exist with others who are our peers. We’ve gone away from the idea that we need other women, to laugh with and cry with. We fear that if others know too much we will lose respect and lose status. Instead, we scroll on Instagram and compare ourselves. We read posts on Facebook and roll our eyes in hate. We kill ourselves at the gym to prove our beauty to one another. We work overtime to afford shop-therapy. And we dress our families in matching outfits to show the world that life is good. And while some of us have husbands and children- even then we need women we call friends. We need a She Tribe we can “let the girls loose” with- women you can process with when you’re laying in bed as your thoughts rush through your mind about the “what-ifs.”

Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.

||Proverbs 27:9||

When we are willing to grow in our relationships with one another, we cultivate an opportunity to experience a new strength and energy. Having true friends you can go to for advice, laughs, and honest moments, gives room to let the ugly junk out and soak in the beautiful. Friendship is apart of a healthy lifestyle overall, and it doesn’t just benefit you, but it benefits everything you are connected too. And we can never be to high up in leadership, too busy at our jobs, or too consumed by our agendas, to build honest friendships. It takes work, vulnerability, and honesty to successfully journey with others. That morning at the diner with the ladies I call my friends-my sisters, I knew that even though it wasn’t comfortable to expose my not so pretty areas,  I was secure it was a safe place and nothing we shared would change that.

By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst.

|| Ecclesiastes 4:12 ||

I love referring to my strong friendships as my SheTribe because it is rings loyalty, filled with the nitty-gritty ready to face the worst, as mentioned above.  I hope you have what I call a SheTribe- one that refreshes your soul and brings the best out of you. And if not, my prayer for you is that this year you gain the confidence to get out of your shell and grow in your relationships like never before!

xoxo,

Jannelle

Comments

  1. I can definitely relate to this blog. Prior to me coming to Journey Church 2 years ago, I never had close friendships. I had relationships with men and thought that was all I needed. That was a lie from the enemy to keep me bound. I’m so thankful for all of my SheTribes. Being vulnerable with other women that I can trust and feel safe with has helped me grow as a person. We all need this. Thank you for sharing 😊

    • Jannelle says:

      Tiffiny!

      Doesn’t it make such a difference when we have other women in our lives that get us and grow us!

      So awesome you now have a She Tribe you can count on!!

      xoxo

  2. NyseCole says:

    I truly believe many times #SHETRIBE’s do not exist because women are afraid to be vulnerable due to the fact of competition with other women. But it is absolutely beautiful when we let our guard down and show our human-ness…..it shows we are real and in that we help one another. The results are endless… Well said Jannelle! #lettheguardfall

    • Jannelle says:

      Nyse!
      You made a great point! The need for competition is rooted in the fear of rejection! I pray we as Daughters walk in confidence to encourage friendship and discourage the need to compete against one another.

      thanks for your comment!!

      xoxo

  3. Tina vulto says:

    YES!! Shetribe…we need each other to grow and learn..laugh and cry…and be who we are…speak truth in love to each other and sometimes we act a fool… thanks for sharing.

  4. WOW!!!!! powerful and so full of #Truth. Thank you for sharing and allowing others to see you truth. Love you girly!

    • Jannelle says:

      Tjwana!

      Thank YOU for taking the time to read! So happy you can relate!! Our She Tribe in the office needs to grow!! 😉

      xoxo

  5. Eleana Pabon says:

    This is perfection! I love and appreciate your transparency, Jannelle. I too admire the idea of true friendship and cherish my SheTribe. This is so empowering, reaffirming, and humbling because just as you perfectly expresses…”Too often, we as women are normalizing our loneliness and weariness because somewhere on this journey of life, we’ve been convinced that true-honest friendship doesn’t exist with others who are our peers. We’ve gone away from the idea that we need other women, to laugh with and cry with. We fear that if others know too much we will lose respect and lose status.” Thank you and I will definitely share this with my SheTribe and other women that can be blessed by this.

    Love You,
    Eleana

    • Jannelle says:

      Eleana!!

      I love that you have a SHETRIBE ! True Friendship is hard to come around these days!

      Please let me know what your SHETRIBE thinks!!

      xoxo

  6. Mery SOTO says:

    I feel like I let myself get so busy with life and consumed with school (procrastination) that it leaves me missing out on #shetribe moments, but there is nothing like taking off all your “hats” off and being one of the girls, there’s strength in numbers!!
    Thank you for this ♡

    • Jannelle says:

      Mery!

      Yes I know it’s tough to push through the seasons where we have to focus in on the current demand on our life. Good thing is this is temporary!!

      Thanks for taking time to read and respond to this blog post!!

      xoxo

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